杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá [aside]:
2:02 我叫杨敬华。
wǒ jiào yáng jìng huá
My name is Yáng JìngHuá.
2:03 自小父母双亡。
zì xiǎo fùmǔ shuāng wáng
My parents both died when I was young.
2:04 家道中落。
jiā dàozhōng luò
2:05 穷得只能搞点计算机维修过活。
qióng dé zhǐ néng gǎo diǎn jìsuànjī wéixiū guòhuó
Suffering a reversal of fortune,
I was so poor, just barely surviving by doing computer maintenance and repair.
2:08 凭借过硬的技术勉强能混口饭吃。
píngjiè guòyìng de jìshù miǎnqiáng néng hùn kǒu fàn chī
Relying on my top notch technology skills, I was barely scraping by with just enough to eat.
2:11 被邻居们封为一代机王杨大师。
bèi línjūmen fēng wéi yīdài jī wáng yáng dàshī
My neighbors bestowed upon me the title of this generation's Grandmaster Computer King Yáng.
杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá [aside]:
2:15 老天爷可能也眷顾我搞机水平好。
lǎotiānyé kěnéng yě juàngù wǒ gǎo jī shuǐpíng hǎo
2:17 所以选了辆土方车收了我。
suǒyǐ xuǎnle liàng tǔfāng chē shōule wǒ
2:20 给了我一份新差事。
gěile wǒ yī fèn xīn chāishì
Probably in consideration of my talent with computers,
The Old Man in the Sky selected a dump truck and took me in,
giving me a new job.
2:22 只可惜中国未来少了个杨化腾。
zhǐ kěxí zhōngguó wèilái shǎole gè yáng huà téng
It is regrettable that in the future China will be lacking a Yáng HuàTéng.
端木熙 DuānMù Xī:
2:28 杨敬华
yáng jìng huá
2:30 你饿死鬼投胎啊。
nǐ è sǐ guǐ tóutāi a
Yáng JìngHuá, were you reincarnated from a ghost who starved to death?
杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá:
2:32 我他喵的。
wǒ tā miāo de
2:33 被车撞之前三天没吃上饭了。
bèi chē zhuàng zhīqián sān tiān méi chī shàng fànle
You kittyf*cker,
I was starving for three days before being run over by a truck.
2:35 你说我饿不饿。
nǐ shuō wǒ è bù è
Am I hungry? What do you think?!
端木熙 DuānMù Xī:
2:36 你喷了我一脸。
nǐ pēnle wǒ yī liǎn
You sprayed spit all over my face.
2:38 能斯文点吗？
néng sīwén diǎn ma
Can you be a little more civilized?
杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá [aside]:
2:39 他叫端木熙。
tā jiào duān mù xī
His name is DuānMù Xī.
2:40 是维护世间阴阳平衡的阳冥司。
shì wéihù shìjiān yīnyáng pínghéng de yáng míng sī
As the YángMíngSī, he maintains the world's balance of Yin and Yang.
2:43 而我
ér wǒ
2:44 是他的影灵。
shì tā de yǐng líng.
2:46 说白了就是马仔。
shuōbáile jiùshì mǎ zǐ
And I am his Shadow Spirit,
to put it bluntly, I'm his hatchet man.
杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá:
2:48 斯文个毛啊！
sīwén gè máo a
Civilize the hairs on my ass!
杨敬华 Yáng JìngHuá:
2:49 每次吃饭就我俩
měi cì chīfàn jiù wǒ liǎ
Every time we eat it's just the two of us.
2:50 你又不吱声
nǐ yòu bù zīshēng
There's not a peep out of you.
2:51跟个木头似的
gēn gè mùtou shì de
You're like a block of wood.
2:53 那可不就像我一个人在吃嘛
nà kěbù jiù xiàng wǒ yīgè rén zài chī ma
It's no different from me eating by myself.
2:55 我没打嗝放屁一条龙已经很收敛了
wǒ méi dǎgé fàngpì yītiáo lóng yǐjīng hěn shōuliǎnle
I'm already exercising a lot of restraint by not burping or farting out a dragon.
端木熙 DuānMù Xī:
2:58 那下次我把一家人都叫上。
nà xià cì wǒ bǎ yījiā rén dōu jiào shàng
Alright, next time I'll invite the entire family.
Translator 译者：鸑岚朠 Yuè LánYīng
Editor: 源于饥饿